


love letters to my inner demon

by krystallisert



Category: Original Work
Genre: Diary/Journal, Gen, Lowercase, for safekeeping, hahaha, prose, word vomit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:40:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29641752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krystallisert/pseuds/krystallisert
Relationships: me/my inner demon
Kudos: 7





	1. 220221

**i.**

oh, hey; it’s you again 

that creeping fog, that dragging claw, that soft and sweet whisper 

i greet you like an old friend, like a lover, press you to my chest and keep you there, coddle you between my ribs as if you need the gesture, as if you don’t already long to sink your teeth into my waiting flesh 

but you’ve been waiting too, haven’t you? 

for a chance to strike, for a place to cut and i am bare and i am easy and i am helpless 

_you are the only one who truly understands me,_ i whisper at the ticklish flutter of phantom pains and vivid imagery and you nod your head in agreement and i believe it 

wholeheartedly 

because you are a beast like i am; unruly, unkind, untamable 

(you leave me in the afterglow when i am battered and bruised and thoroughly conquered; the tattered and frayed edges of my soul stretch across purpling skin and i’m untethered.)

maybe it’s for the best

**ii.**

i walk on eggshells 

i walk on splintered glass and rusted nails and i hope, despite myself, for light at the end of the tunnel 

i have not found it yet but thankfully 

i am an optimist

**iii.**

my sleep paralysis demon wears my face and it’s the most terrifying thing i’ve ever seen


	2. 240221

**iv.**

tell me everything i want to hear 

give credence to my biggest fears,  _ you know that no one likes you when you’re like this  _

that’s not my fault, i’m just the way you made me

but you don’t care, you don’t care, you don’t care you don’t— 

the quiet scares me the most; uncertainty when i can’t feel you in my bones, careful moments of respite 

i like you best when i can see you

**v.**

sometimes i think about that ex who told me he wouldn’t love me if i gained weight 

when i was just a collection of bones and dizzy spells and half-eaten meals 

and broken nails and open skin and kind lies 

and there was not much left of me to love at all 

and maybe that was how he liked me 

**vi.**

my mom used to tell me “you have nothing to cry about” 

i think that’s why i cried in the first place 


End file.
